Hope of Life, the Crushing Blow (Part Two)

(PART TWO)Miscarriage statistics can be dramatic. Miscarriage reportedly occurs in 20 percent of all pregnancies. However, according to some sources, this may be an inaccurate number. Many women, before realizing a life has begun forming within them, may miscarry without knowing it-assuming their miscarriage is merely a heavier period. Therefore, the miscarriage rate may be closer to 40 or 50 percent. Of the number of women who miscarry, 20 percent will suffer recurring miscarriages.

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The first time we; and I say we because as much as it was a physical happening in my wife's body, it was an emotional & spiritual event that WE went through - the first time we miscarried was at 8 weeks and we were devastated. We were the hopeful parents that got pregnant on our first try (or so it seemed). The joy and bliss of expecting a child came to a crushing, sorrowful end... and we had to tell more people than whom we had told we were pregnant, that we were no longer pregnant. If you tell 10, 3o will know. For a couple of months we still had people coming up to us and congratulating us and we had to go through the same scenario, "Oh... thank you, but things didn't work out that way." Then we had to watch as they were horrified at what they had just done to us and we would have to let them know that they shouldn't feel bad and in the mean time we relived our sorrow.

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I woke up at 5:38am from a dream the morning Karin, my wife, had the miscarriage. In the dream, she came home and told me she was spotting and we lost the baby. First thing you need to know about me; I am a spiritual man, a Christian that believes many of our dreams are inspired by God and I have had dreams all my life that have come true. My eyes opened almost as if I had never been asleep, I gently placed my hand over my wife's belly and said "I bless this child Lord, I curse that dream." and I went back to sleep. A couple of hours later we got up, my wife comes out of the restroom and tells me she is spotting and crampy. I immediately remember the dream and go into prayer mode, quietly praying and believing my prayers will be effectual. We went to the doctor, they put Karin on bedrest and progesterone suppositories.

We miscarried....

The sonographer confirmed that we had miscarried.


I was devastated. I felt like a failure. The Lord had woken me up, given me precise direction to pray in, warned me of (what I thought at the time was preventable) what might happen... and all I did was say a quick prayer and went back to sleep.

We looked at each other after her gynecologist left the room leaving us alone. We both cried. My wife looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I'm sorry". I said something like "me too" and we hugged. We were both numb with disbelief. We had started talking about possible names, how we were going to arrange the house and our schedules... and it was over. We had a 45 minute drive home and a couple of days to deal with Karin passing more tissue and telling our closest friends and family what had happened. Oh sorrow.

The dream never left me. What's more important, is that with each of our miscarriages, with the exception of the last one, I had a dream that we lost the baby the morning before. The most important dream I had, was a year before my son was born... coming in part 3.