Friends, Friendships, True Friends

Life can throw us us some pretty hard fast balls, curve balls, and sometimes peg us. A year ago, I had 2 very close friends devastate our relationships with each other. It has caused me to go through several steps:
Anger
Low self esteem
Sadness
Mistrust
Resentment
Forgiveness
Hope
Reflection
Restoration


"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you" (John 15:13-15)

I am not gonna kill you with scripture.... but,... one more: "And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth. And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened" (Luke 11:5-10)

I am by no means perfect or the prefect friend, family member, spouse, business man, etc... However, I have never betrayed a friend, a family member, spouse, or business acquaintance.  Nor could I


1.  THERE ARE ONLY A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS

Prov. 18:24 "He that maketh many friends doeth it to his own destruction:
but there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."


2. A FRIEND GIVES HIS LIFE

John 15:13 "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his
life for his friends."

3. A FRIEND KNOWS YOU

John 15:15 "But I have called you friends; for all things that I
heard from my Father I have made known unto you."

4. A FRIEND LOVES WITH NO CONDITIONS

Prov. 17:17 "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for
adversity."

5. A FRIEND GIVES WISE ADVICE

Prov. 27:9 "Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness
of a man's friend that cometh of hearty counsel."

6. A FRIEND SPEAKS THE TRUTH IN LOVE

Prov. 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend..."

The Bible tells us to "walk in the light" to have real fellowship with
each other (1 John 1:7). We all need somebody with enough love for us
to tell us the truth about ourselves. Not only what we want to hear, but
what we should hear as well.


7. A FRIEND ENCOURAGES

8. A FRIEND ISN'T AFRAID TO CLASH WITH YOU

Prov. 27:17 "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of
his friend."

9. FRIENDS ARE DELICATE

Prov. 26:18+19 "As a madman who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death; so
is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?"

To put it simply, a friend is aware of your sensitive areas. They refrain
from sarcasm, mean jokes and exposures.


10. FRIENDS ARE LOYAL

Prov. 16:28b "A whisperer separateth chief friends."
Prov. 17:9b  "He that harpeth on a matter separateth chief friends."

In the hour of betrayal, with rumours and accusations, it will be obvious
who really stands by us.

I don't think we can decide one day that we are gonna run out and find this kind of friend.  They don't stock, backstock, or even inventory them at the 7-11...  it's a cultivation process that HAS to be mutual.
Just some thoughts.....

Serving Two Masters?

I first started thinking about this topic after reading a fellow bloggers blog regarding their church and their marriage. Similarly, I too have have suffered setbacks through my Christian walk and through my marriage. Finding God is hard enough without having to try and find satisfaction in your marriage as well. I don't want to base my satisfaction on one or the other. Trying to find completeness and wholeness in either, when you are completely unsatisfied is even more difficult. In my opinion, most people try to use God or their marriage as a crutch and try to limp to the other to find satisfaction in at least one of them.

I actually think it is much easier to find completeness in at least one of them, if you are only serving one of them. What I mean is this, most people view marriage as something that isn't tangible, and they serve marriage like they try to serve God, trying to appease it. They view "Marriage" as something they are trying to attain to, rather than something they are actively a part of or more importantly, a living and constant blending of themselves with another person...

Serving two masters is tremendously difficult.

My soul searching, God hunt, quest for peace, desire for completeness, hope for harmony... Whatever you want to label it... is incomplete. As I have constantly been striving to find more God, in both my relationship with God and in my marriage... I find that serving God and allowing myself to do more than merely exist in my marriage, is helping me find clarity in each...

Completeness in either still seems to be fleeting at times.

But, I still yearn...!

Some parting thoughts:
Does God seek to control us? Control every aspect of our lives? Rob us of our individuality?

Or does God desire to Protect us, desire for us to ask of His counsel in our decisions, desire to be part of our lives, or give us liberty and still desire that we become more Christ like?

Do we show the same kindness to a wolf in sheep's clothing and act as if those we love are not in danger? Or do we step in between the wolf and the ones we love and do what is necessary to protect those we love at the cost of being told we are trying to control them?

I seriously want your input.