Crossroads.... take the high road.

As many know, recent events in my life have brought me to many crossroads. These crossroads have been filled with betrayal, deception, confusion, judgement, assumptions and suppositions... to name the negative ones. They have also been filled with unity, love, renewing, refreshment, clarity and truth. The greatest of these being LOVE.

Did you see the movie "Mr. & Mrs. Smith"? The married couple comes to realize they have been living in "a web of lies!" ... as Mr. Smith denotes near the end of the movie. There are assumptions, deception, and betrayal that take place not only with Mr. & Mrs. Smith, but also with the people that THINK they know them.

It totally amazes me how an individual can have such a skewed perception of who they think someone is. Generally, we characteristically assess an individual when we are formulating our impression of that individual. Our time spent with them will allow us to reassess and make a more realistic characterization of that individual based on their lifestyle, communication, and overall interaction with us and others.


I believe in being accountable and accountability to what we do, how we act, etc. I have had job assessments, assessed my own employees, been through management, middle management, and upper level management training. I have been part of small and large group communications. I have had many businesses and currently still have my own company. If someone came to me, which they did, and told me I had a communication problem, I would , and this is exactly what I did, assess my communications with people and seek third party assessment; whether or not I agree with the original criticism. In this instance, the person making the criticism was accurate as to how they perceived my communication with them or around them to another individual. This was not in a professional environment whatsoever. To see if this "pattern" of communication spilled over into other areas of my life, I was gratefully glad to hear from many individuals that this was not their perception at all, as I asked those closest to me to answer with complete honesty. They agreed that I could be direct, overbearing at times, and that I was one of the most passionate and tenacious people they knew.

Of course there are two sides to a coin... WRONG! A coin has three sides. This is the philosophy I bring to most negotiations or discussions involving assessment. The first key to assessing any situation, especially a persons character, is to have third party input into any character assessment. We observe individually and then get the observations of others to balance our assessment. Thus the three sides. Our 'side', their 'side', and the 'side' of others.

This particular individual who thought it was there "duty" or whatever the hell he perceived it as to give their unsolicited opinion; he is a self proclaimed preacher and supposed man of God, has recently been shown (some of these he has confessed to) to be an adulterer/womanizer, liar, and thief. He is a narcissist that was able to hide himself in a cloak of haughtiness, deception, and a false humility that prevented his character from being seen as it truly was. This is a harsh assessment, I agree. However, it is accurate. I don't believe this person ever wanted to be this way. But he showed a different side of himself to different people depending upon who he was around. A year and a half ago I made a decision to let our communication continue only if he initiated it. I was no longer willing to feed his manic ego for being a recovering addict. His addiction was continually being fed by his own desires (it was not a chemical addiction) and all with supposed words of God on his lips.

His college room mates told me that he told them he made a deal with Satan his freshman year of college. This explains alot about his complete lack of character, how he operated in deception and how he did so with no remorse. Recently, Satan came to collect on the barter he made and as a result of his life style, he has lost everything. His very soon to be ex-wife is divorcing him and in her words she is "200% sure she is f___ing divorcing his ass". She is now raising their three children (all under 6) on her own (and thriving and doing wonderfully!). Because of his deceptions, lifestyle, and down right lies, he has lost every friend he had and that is not an overstatement. He has recently threatened the only friend he had left that was communicating with him.


The good news....

The crossroads I have come to have caused me to look inward and to look increasingly upward. I had, have, showed and demonstrated compassion for this person for the 9 years I knew him. That is my character. I did the Word when it came to him and my interaction with him and in light of recent communication with those that were closest to him, I am so incredibly thankful that I know the true meaning of Love. I loved this person until he interfered in my life in the most deceitful way a person can. I know I am a blessed man of God and I let my actions speak louder than professing my faith with my mouth. Ask ANYONE who knows me.

Thank you to the many individuals who have contacted me and encouraged me. Your love is felt in a tremendous way. I have felt a greater unity as a result.

My wife and I have a greater respect for each other and a more loving relationship than we have had in years as we have walked together in dealing with the fallout of this individuals lifestyle.

At any crossroad a person must decide on which road to take. Our lives are a direct result of the paths we have chosen. Our paths will cross many other individuals paths through the journey of life and if we cross a road with another person that adversely affects us, it will be up to us to take the road of love, compassion and honesty.

I could go into quoting a bunch of scripture.... but I won't... I just do what the scripture says.
Ciao.