The Ring... A Symbol? Just Jewelry?

I am moved to ask this because my wife and I have recently refurbished my wedding ring (which I hadn't taken off since the day we were married) and bought her a new ring and band and had the diamond from her original wedding ring put into it.

The whole process was difficult for me.

First of all, I had never taken my ring off. I have never been able to bring myself to do it and when the jeweler, who is also a very good friend of mine, asked to see it to retsore it, I almost broke into tears. He had to call me a couple of girly names to get me to take it off. Once I had taken it off, I felt bare, naked, and was afraid I would fall into singlehood at the first sight of an attractive woman. He asked me if I could pick it up next week... the look on my face must have said it all before the words came out of my mouth. "What will Karin think when I don't have my ring on, I've never had it off?! I can't wait a week!" He said he would check on something for me and walked out of sight. I immediately looked at my hand. It felt different, looked different, and the natural tendency of my thumb to adjust my ring felt the absence of my ring and that was even more weird. I took off the promise ring, from my other hand, that my wife gave me when we exchanged promise rings while still in high school, and put it onto my ring finger... ahhh that felt better.

As I stood there waiting for my good friend the jeweler to return, I began pondering why I had never taken off my wedding ring, what was keeping me from taking it off over the last 15 years? Fear that I would find it easier to take it off with each instance? Because I was setting an example to my wife? So that I could reinforce my dedication to my marriage by being able to say I had never taken off my wedding ring? Was it because I feared if I did that my marriage would fall apart? I was an emotional wreck while I waited for the return of my ring. What was it with my wedding ring? It doesn't have magical powers. Does it?

I began to think back at the day I watched my mother take her wedding ring from her second marriage and throw it into a lake. Yep, there goes a grand... plop. I have always remembered that day. I was twelve and I remember thinking how important that ring was to her when she wore it and how she struggled with throwing it into the lake. I was the child of 2 divorces and a child custody case that split my family apart. The ring was as much a symbol as it was sentimental to me. I vowed at the age of 12 that I would never go through divorce. That whomever I chose to marry, that it would be for life. That I would never, EVER, put any kids I might have into that kind of situation. To me, marriage was (and is) the ultimate bond that 2 people can have. My ring was and is the symbol of my bond to my wife, and a symbol to remind me of the vow I took when I was 12 years old.

Ahhh... my buddy was returning. He came up to me and lifted his hand up with a new ring in it. This new ring looked similar to my ring, except the brushings weren't rubbed off of the sides and the gold and diamonds sparkled like new. He said "What do you think?" I stumbled for words. Was he asking me if this is what my ring looked like 15 years ago, or how I want mine to be restored to? Was he trying to sell me a new ring, and if so...how could he? Or was this.... my ring? "Is this my ring?" I said in disbelief. "Yeah" he said.

I started crying right there at the counter and I could see I was making him a bit uncomfortable. After all, we only knew each other from our trips to ManLand and everyone knows that sensitivity doesn't exist in ManLand. This good friend was also my wife's next door neighbor as she grew up. They had known each other since they were about 2 years old and he and I had known each other since I started dating my wife, 20 years ago. My wife has a birthday in a couple of weeks and it was on her birthday that we met, 21 years ago. The history aside, I was visibly moved by what he had just done for me. In a way, it also symbolized the shape our marriage has taken in recent months. Refurbished, renewed, clean and shiny and sparkling again.

A few days later I came back, with my wife, and we brought the diamond from her original wedding ring. The diamond had fallen out about three years ago. If I had only recognized the symbolism of that back then. That story is for another day.

My wife and I met with our good friend and started looking at rings. An hour and a half later she had chosen a new ring to put her diamond into and a new band to accompany it. He took her diamond and finger size and said we could come back in a few days to pick it up.

Karin had bought a cheap band from somewhere to put on until we decided what we were going to do about her ring. I never knew it would take so long to get around to doing that. We went to dinner to eat and while there, our good friend the jeweler called and asked if I could come back for some paperwork that still needed to be taken care of. I dropped Karin off at home and went back to take care of the paper work. Again... he surprised me. He came walking up to the counter with Karin's ring sized and with the diamond mounted already. It had been less than 2 hours since we left! He bagged the ring up in a new ring case and gift bag and sent me on my way. I arrived home and presented my wife with her new ring in one hand and a hammer in the other. I had told her that when she got her new ring, that I wanted the old cheap band she bought and she said OK. While she took out her new ring, I headed for the garage to finish symbolizing our new or refurbished rings and marriage.

So, is your wedding ring a symbol, is it a remembrance of your dedication and vows, is it magical, or is it just a piece of jewelry? I treat mine like I treat my faith in God. It keeps me. It reminds me. I honor it, I cherish it, I protect it. I have seen too many treat it as jewelry.

Since taking my wedding ring off to be restored (which he did for me at no charge!!), I found that my marriage didn't fall apart, I didn't fall in love with the first attractive woman to walk across my path or become instantly single. I have realized, however, that by just wearing the ring, my marriage was not going to be automatically happy or filled with joy. It too needed refurbished and some things made new, just as our rings did.

I pray that the Lord keeps me a tender man, sensitive to the needs of my wife, and we continue in our new found love for each other.